emeralds and rubies
by septemberisms
Summary: His eyes are emeralds, but she's Ruby. —ruby&dean, for ray. ;)
1. emerald

**notes |** scene 3 onward is au, in which we pretend ruby is actually on team free will and it's after season 6. ermermerm, sammy still has his soul, bc it's a nice soul, and i donut like it when younger siblings lose their souls. it's such a shame, really. :( OKIE AND THIS HAS A SLIGHTLY AWKWARD ENDING BUT I FELT LIKE I WAS A GOOD PLACE BC I AM DONE WITH CRYING FOR THE REST OF THIS MONTH. lol. i might add a second chapter; we'll see how things go. :)

**dedicated;** to **ray**. i want you to be my shipping pardner! :( so read this and feel ruby&dean seep into your soul... [lol it's not _that_ cool, but i'm sort-of proud of it so;] :)

* * *

**emeralds and rubies**

There's not much to say. Eyes meet and burn, but nothing happens other than singular twitches of the fingers. A tongue darts over cracked lips and someone sucks in a quick breath.

Dean is dying and Ruby is dead and they can't help but wonder—is losing something terrible worth gaining something so pure yet powerful?

Man's weakness is power, and Dean is so _man_ it's painful.

So she licks her own wounds, pretending she can't hear his heart beating from across the room. Who needs angels to watch over them when they have—_Ruby_?

-:-

The knife in her back pocket is as sharp as her tongue; her words slice and dice, and suddenly she begins to grow on him. He doesn't know when or where or why, but suddenly words come harder to him when he hears her retorts, and it frustrates him to no end how he can ignore her little taunts in favor of the blueness of her eyes.

[She's not having much trouble with her words, and it stings _a little_ more than it should have.]

His eyes stare into her sometimes, and it inflames her skin but he doesn't know that. Sometimes he finds her looking at him, but through him at the same time and it burns, just a little.

-:-

Lisa and Ruby sitting together in the same room doesn't seem to have a nice outcome, in foresight. Dean catches her, once and finally, glancing quickly in the direction of the clock and he wonders, fleetingly what it would be like to have Ruby in the kitchen, Ben in his bedroom, and Dean fitting somewhere, _anywhere_ in this picture—but it's a stupid thing to see, especially when Dean is eye-deep in denial.

So Sam's eyes tell him to listen and just sighs, wishing for the millionth time that Ruby wasn't there.

Of course, that doesn't still the fire burning deep in his soul, because he can't pretend. There's nothing to hide. When faced with all these questions—the answers seem to lie there, in plain sight, so unattainable and indistinct, but so vivid and imaginable, and for the millionth time Dean hopes.

-:-

_Son of a bitch_.

She had a dirty mouth before, she always did, but there's something different in her tone; soft, not-so-crazed; something sort of indestructible.

She sees his wounds and she snarls and for a second he can delusion himself into thinking she _cares_. Her eyes run over the blood and she leers and her eyes grow cold again so he rolls his eyes and wants so badly to punch her and punch himself at the same time.

And for some reason there's a tender feeling surrounding her as she glares at him about his stupidity for getting injured so badly, and in the way she pushes Sam feet away to tend to his wounds on her own.

-:-

Sometimes he sees and feels her getting lost in his music, even if she thinks it sucks, and he sees her leave herself and her soul and its tainting behind in favor of the world in her head. He wishes he could do the same; become a blur of what he is and what he does. Maybe it's just as beautiful inside as she makes it look to be.

-:-

She's afraid of herself.

Where humans fear the unknown, the shadows, the darkness, she scoffs and runs into it in the admirably stupid way he's come to love [and he later realizes the danger of that word] about her. She fears herself. He sees her, looking in the mirror, and like with the music she gets lost inside herself. Only this isn't the kind of lost where she can tune out the world and wait for everything to explode while she's in her bubble of gorgeous safety. This is the kind of lost where you're so broken and _unknown_ to yourself that you start to lose it.

You start to lose _you_. You look in that mirror and you see the ghost of what you once were and it's so dark and dreary in the world inside, even darker than it is on the outside. Most people, like Dean, shrug off themselves in that way. They know they're broken and they'll hide it behind the safety of the shells of who they are. Like sweeping toys beneath a rug.

Ruby doesn't do that. She knows who she is and she knows she's messed up and she's terrified. She won't let the mess build up but she knows there's nowhere to hide anymore. Not from herself.

He feels helpless sometimes. Useless, pointless, completely and irredeemably irrelevant. Like he's the star but she's the supernova, always outshining him.

[That's how he knows it's not love. Love doesn't make you hurt.]

-:-

No. Love doesn't make you hurt.

Love makes you _feel_. Feel everything from happy to sad to angry to obnoxious to terrified to resilient to broken to hurt to loved.

That's how he knows he's in love. That's how he admits it.

[And no, it isn't Lisa.]


	2. ruby

**notes |** ok so this chapter is ruby's pov. thanks for the reviews last chapter. ;) this is also really short; i'm really sorry, but but but (no words). this is where my creative vision ends, and there's another chapter coming, maybe mix of povs or maybe dean's or maybe even sam's. please vote below:

**disclaimed.**

* * *

**emeralds and rubies**  
ruby

you know he's not real.

it's the way he talks. the way he smiles. the way he breathes, really.

the way he lives.

you know he's not real by the way he lives, because he doesn't live for you.

( you've read enough sappy romance novels. if he was real and if he was yours the concept would be; **yourheart** _myheartbeat_ )

-:-

there's ruby and then there's dean, and sometimes they're like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly. she finishes his sentences sometimes, and she looks at him most of the time, and she looks out for sammy all the time.

but then she slaps him and he kicks her and she claws at him and they're still on square one—_because they've never left it, have they?_

-:-

you know, somewhere on the other side of the world there's a girl missing her heart, because dean fucking winchester stole it.

and not even the other side of the world. maybe it was the second-to-last state they were in.

and you know, somewhere deep inside her, ruby knows she hasn't got her own heart anymore either.

_take a guess, sweetie._

-:-

she hates it. she hates it, she hates this, she hates him. mostly, she hates herself.

they don't fit, you know. she's a hurricane, harsh and unforgiving and just churning and turning and changing. and he's _dean_. too unique for any words you could bestow on him, because for all his omniscience he is a freaking human. and to fall in love, for a demon, is ugly, but to fall in love with a human, is disgusting, and because her dean is _special_, to fall in love with him is more than felony or treachery or betrayal. it shakes her to the core, honestly. there is no way to describe this, because _this_ isn't just _this_. _this_ is powerful and indestructible and perfect and

not there.

it's not there.

because he's not real and she's not sure what she is anymore, and besides;

there's always lisa.

-:-

lisa braeden.

it's funny, when there's nothing there's her, and when there's everything it's because of her.

and to the gods of demon love, ruby thinks this is probably ironic.

in a comedic sort of way, placing ruby and lisa in the same room is a suicide mission for dean and it's so hurtful seeing him smiling at her and vice versa. and because she's ruby and she doesn't give up, ever, she'll claw her way back to the top again, right back to being the biggest part of dean's heart ( next to his family and sammy of course )

wait.

since when is ruby part of dean's heart?

-:-

in hindsight, love is an ugly, ugly thing just in general.

in foresight, for most people, it's perfect and beautiful.

but of course, [ruby and dean] are not most people and therefore love is a disastrous concept and should be burned alive.

but then dean meets lisa and things change.

[and that's ironic, too, because ruby is essentially the one changes things]

lisa smiles nicely and they see so many things _right_ with that picture; things like her perfect, warm smile and the way she'll carefully rebuild the dreams of dean she's always envisioned deep inside herself.

ruby smirks cruelly and they see so many things _wrong_ with that picture; things like her wild, broken eyes and the way she'll recklessly destroy dean from deep inside.

( and they never bother to look deep enough inside to realize...ruby might even want to be for dean what lisa can be )

and then fix him. but not really. she'll fix him and he'll fix her but they don't know that yet. so for now they'll keep hurting each other.

* * *

**notes | **next chapter should be in the pov of:

**sam** _dean_ dean and ruby OMNISCIENT


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